She did the “Mom Thing”. She wiped my tears. Reminded me that she loved me. She told me to go back out and face my tormentor(s). What were her words of wisdom? Don’t let people know their words hurt you and they will leave you alone. She also taught me the rhyme about sticks, stones and words. My Mom’s intentions were good and most of her advice worked. However, she was wrong. Words do hurt. Words make invisible wounds that can be much harder to heal than physical wounds.
Words spoken in anger, in malice, and even the “accidental” outburst of a hard truth wound the mind and soul. Words are sharp instruments. We can use them to hurt or to heal. Think about it. A knife in the hands of a physician can cut out a dangerous infection or growth. A knife in the hands of an evil person can cause great harm and even death.
The holidays are coming. This wonderful time of the year is also one of the most stressful times of the year. We want things to be perfect and we stress out trying to produce perfection. We dwell on the past and relive memories. Not all of these memories are sweet. One of the first people to wound a child by their words will most likely be a family member. Families and friends love us and are usually the safe people to be around. However, life happens and words are spoken. Words, once spoken, cannot be erased.
Common wounding words spoken by families and friends are comparisons, out bursts of anger, and negative observations. Have you ever heard any of these phrases, “You will never amount to much.” “Why are you so lazy?” “Why can’t you get good grades like your sister?” “Why don’t you play sports like your cousin?”
Our brains replay the wounding words we hear until we believe them. Those words program us to believe certain things about ourselves. Can you recall any of the “prophecies” that wounding words programmed into you? Perhaps you heard, “You are just like your father.” “You are slower than others.” “You will always fail.” Identifying the wounding words is one of the first steps to break their power over you.
Do you remember wounding another person by your words? Perhaps you did it intentionally. Perhaps the words just slipped out of you mouth. It happened. The truth is that once words leave our mouths, or computers they cannot be taken back. There is no room for retraction in real time or cyber-space. Even when we repent and apologize, the words have made their mark.
As God’s people we are to speak positive words, healing words. The Psalmist prayed and asked God to put a guard over his lips. I like that idea. Also we can pray the following prayer found in Psalm 19. “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Thy sight, oh Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer.”
The Holy Spirit, speaking through the writing of Paul in Ephesians 4, gives us this command: “Stop being bitter, angry and mad at others. Don’t yell at one another or curse each other or ever be rude. Instead be kind and merciful, and forgive others, just as God forgave you because of Christ.”
How will your holidays be different in light of this command? Will you change your words? Will you choose to react differently when you feel wounded? Will you forgive? Romans 12, tells us that we can only act and react differently when we become different. We become new when we allow God to renew our minds. In Psalm 119 the psalmist teaches that we can keep ourselves pure when we meditate on the Word of God.
God’s Word is living and sharper than a two edged sword. Jesus is also called the Word of God. Our hope for happy days is literally found in the Word. Allow God to heal the wounds that separate you from family and friends. Allow God to set a guard over your lips and fill your mouth with positive healing words. Allow The Word of God to renew you, fill you and bless you.
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